First Friday of the year

Yesterday was such an interesting day.

At work, it is a very busy day, reconciling reports with Farm Manager, thinking of how to tell them in the gentle way that their data are wrong. And i learn one way to tell the Manager direct instead of telling the person that i find comfortable talking to. Which i did yesterday, it ended up taking me double the time to fix up the report. That is mistake no 1. Next, shouldn't assume that information given by someone is always correct, at times it is good to do a quick check. I passed a total of close to 600 journals entries and in the end realised that some of them are wrong and some of them are right. It takes me about 2 hours going thru them and finding out where is the error. That is mistake no 2. But thank God, there is a lot of reporting that i didn't have access to by the system, thus i'm able to go back home about 5plus 6. But that day of working 9 to 10 hours really takes away alot of my brain cells.

After work, i came back home, wanted to have a nap, and it is about 6pm. thinking i can take a quick nap, miss the prayer but still able to make it for lifegroup. but i think in my head, i shouldn't take a nap but go for prayer. So i did, i reach lifegroup just before 6:30 prayer. i rested for a while then go in to prayer, but after a while, i even felt more tired then ever. and i decided to rest outside. so instead of having a good 30min nap at home, i went earlier, but ended up not really in prayer and didn't take a nap. That is mistake no 3. Never be double-minded, will get me no where.

Lifegroup, before lifegoup started, a leader email us to say that he will be very late for lifegroup as he needs to do some work in the office. that is like.. what??? he is the doing chairing and sharing a few point after watching a dvd that day. And in the lifegroup, there is no one else that had put in that roles ever since the lifegroup formed. The other 2 leaders are not in brisbane. So you can imgaine how interesting the lifegroup will be. Thinking that its okay, he might be late for dinner but he should be there for the actual chairing (communion message and sharing). He can't be that late. So dinner time came, There is a dead fly found in the main dish. Then the person who the chairperson has authorise to chair the lifegroup on his behalf took out a big mug of maybe 1 litres of beer that was left from new year eve. Then that leader called and said that he can't come for lifegroup at all!!!! So it is getting more interesting. No 1, there is no one to do the communion message. No 2, no one else knows about the discussion to share after the dvd. Maybe if the other 2 leaders are around, it won't be that bad, but yesterday lifegroup is just like a 1 man show, either there is something, or there is nothing. During the dvd time, i felt asleep. Sound asleep. So after the dvd, there is just this drop dead, no one know about the things to share, or what is this dvd or lifegroup all about, or what is the take home point. it is just a normal dinner and watching dvd. Someone told me later on the way home, that i snored. It is so funny.

At the end of the day, i realised one thing. that i'm a great sinner, more than anyone in the lifegroup.

2010 New Year Resolution 1 - Go to Beach

This 1st Month of 2010 will be the time where i will make my New Year Resolution.
One of them i had decided that is to go to the beach every 3 month. Below is the photo that i took today from the top of the beach.

I think i really need that to go thru 2010. Someone once told me that when i'm tired, stressed or troubled, there is the time that i will be in a "weak" state. the words/actions that i did during that time, very often if not everytime i regreted it. This year especially, i know it will be a time where i will be alone. Which is good in a certain way, that i will have lesser regrets in my life.

Surviving thru 2010

2010 is coming soon. as it is good to take account of my life and to testify the faithfulness and gracious of God. i thought i will record down the things that now, so that when 2010 ends, i can give glory to God for His faithfulness.

how easy is it to recongise other people weakness and struggles. it is very easy, not much work is need to do so. but how easy is it to recongise the strength or something to build up one another... hard, sometimes even need to think for a long time before something good can be said. which one helps? heard something recently from a preacher, "the more you mention something bad about someone, the more the person will struggle to overcome it, that person actually felt weaker each time you mention about it, but if you are able to mention something good about the person, it will give that person some strength to know that they can overcome it"

God, i'm weak. even my own heart is condenming me. Confusion are throw at me constantly. A step to walk thru the darkness had been declare and carry out. God, when will Your light shine and disperse the darkness? i'm like a blind person walking around the desert where there is no water, and even the water that i drink, are polluted water, that will cause the pain but wouldn't be able to kill me. God, please reveal to me the sin that i can repent and turn to walk back in Your way. But don't left me in that dark desert where i can't see You, even though You are around as there is nothing in this world that can seperate the love You have for me.

Your word is true. as hard as it is, i will choose to believe Your word.

Reflection

Time flies. Was reflecting on what's happening in 2009. It seemed like 2008 was just yesterday. Everything is still so fresh and it had become history.

I remembered one of the few things that i think God spoke to me about early this year.
1st thing, what i think it to be the truth might not be the truth, it might be the fact and not necessary the truth.
2nd thing, unless i overcome it, i'm just running or avoiding it.

and 2010 is coming soon, God how to apply these into my life? working and planning thru it.

Create in me a clean heart

Create In Me A Clean Heart, Oh God, And Renew A Right Spirit Within Me.

Create In Me A Clean Heart, Oh God, And Renew A Right Spirit Within Me.

Cast Me Not Away From Thy Presence, Oh Lord.

And Take Not Thy Holy Spirit From me

Restore Unto Me The Joy Of Thy Salvation

And Renew A Right Spirit Within Me

Create IN Me A Clean Heart - Keith Green