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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

I really care

Through these few months, i asked myself, how much do i really care for those that i know, those that are close to me. While i'm not sure about the answer in my heart, if i really do care for them or not, i didn't know how to respond but avoid. There are few of them that i tried to have lesser conversation, interaction if possible. Everyone standard of care and concern is different, some might be higher than others, some might be easily met, but for me, i think i'm someone who has quite a high expectation when it comes to care or concern part. It is like you either really care or "just getting a day past by without any trouble".

I realised one thing over the past few weeks, that i do really care. Even though most of the times it is not expressed in the way i hope it to be, but i do really care for everyone. I care not because that i'm a caring person, i care because God has first care for me. In actual fact, i think i do struggle sometimes in that area.

Last night, i wanted to sleep very badly, but somehow i wasn't. Either because there were really a lot of things that was going through my mind or my interesting neighbour testing on the different ringtones. A very very dear sister ask me to "count sheeps" maybe that can help me to sleep. So i did as what i was told. I go and count sheeps. Then i realised that i never able to count sheeps beyond a certain number. Then i will start all over again with 1 sheep. And it happens for a few times and i start all over again with 1 sheep. Without realising it, i fell asleep. That's one of the good way of falling asleep that is to count sheeps. I know it works, or at least it does work for me. :)

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