Listening to God

I had noticed especially for the past few days of how to listen to the voice of God. One way is thru praying.

All these years, i always had this one big struggle. Last few days, toward the closing a group shepherd, the person teaching the shepherding lesson ask everyone to pray. I think HS bring me to a verse. When i read that verse, i was in total shock for a moment. Telling God that it is something that my biggest struggle that no one knows, not that i purposely don't want to share it but just that i kept forgetting to let anyone who is shepherding me know. At that point, i acknowledge that yes God, i did struggle with that a lot where in my highest period or lowest period that fear always came to me. When it hits, it really hit hard on me. I realised how much i need God's grace and mercy to be able to truely said what Paul had mention in that verse. I really do want to be able to said what Paul had mentioned in that verse that is my heart desire all these years and even for the years to come, that will still be my heart desire.

A partial or subjective obedient is disobedient. A partial or subjective submission is not submission. A partial or subjective accountablity is not being accountable. I want to be totally obedient to Your Word, a full submission to Your appointed ones and a full accountability to Your annointed ones especially to Your direct appointed annointed one.

A new way of looking at S Day

My S day is coming soon. Every year i had different experiences with my S day. This year, before it comes, i had decided to blog my thoughts down first.

I remember the first S day that i had, i can see the joy in a few people's face. A joy that cannot be fake out. I remembered clearly that most of the people in my caregroup including me go to the subway at hawken drive.

My second S day, my first caregroup leader send me an sms wishing me to grow in God.

My third S day, my ex-shepherd gave me a card. Encouraging me to grow and experienced His unfailing love.

My forth S day, had a chat with my ex-shepherd and let her hold me accountable for this, "i'm convicted that God love me and He never leave me nor forsake me." That at any point in time, especially when i don't feel like it is the truth, to remind me about what i had said that "God love me and never leave me nor forsake me". At the same day, there is a group of student who sang "Happy Birthday" song. Not to me but to their friend, who happened to be celebrating the birthday at that day and that moment. At the moment, my heart is a bit "melted". As i'm thinking that i did so many bad things and wrong things, so unworthy of any care or concern by anyone.

Now come my fifth S day soon. This year, i decided to make a bit of changes to the way i view S day. In the past few years, i'm always looking for how i want or wish my shepherd or leader to encourage me or bless my heart. But this year, i want to be a blessing to the people that God has placed in my life.

Intelligent Baby Issac

During end of Jan, it was the first time i met Issac Sim. He is cool and he looks cool too. :D

He was also the first baby that i carry in brisbane. But he is quite an intelligent baby tho. Shortly after i carried him. People started to go back home as it was getting late. Then they started to said "bye bye"

I think baby issac actually understand the word "bye bye". Cause after they said "bye bye" then baby issac CRY. He was only about 1.5month old that time. And he can understand the word "bye bye". Oh man, when he grows up, you can imagine how intelligent he will be.

God is good all the time

Last few days, this song keep coming to me again and again. No matter how stress or how impossible the situation is, inside me i know that i wanted to sing it out aloud. Some people thought that i'm over stress for my exam, some thought that i'm a bit strange, but i think i'm normal. And i do mean every word in that song. It is something that i choose to do and believe in.

Looking forward to going back to singapore for holiday.

Things that used to hold me back will not be able to hold me back anymore

“Things that used to hold me back will not be able to hold me back anymore” This is one of the things that had been and still speak so clearly in my heart. I don’t really understand what it means honestly. I initially wanted to write that down last night as but I deleted it away, thinking that what does that mean? If anyone who read this blog will not be able to understand and doesn’t make sense. But I just wanted to record this down to remain myself about the commitment that I had made.

This morning when I do my normal quiet time, I feel that it is time to “move on”. Move on to what to where? I had no much idea or knowledge of how to. But Move on is something that speak so clearly in my heart. And I decided right then that I will move on. Things in the past will remain in the past as a form of memory or lessons learned and move on ahead. This verse came to me, “Letting go of what is behind and moving ahead to what is to come”. I rephrased it.