First Friday of the year

Yesterday was such an interesting day.

At work, it is a very busy day, reconciling reports with Farm Manager, thinking of how to tell them in the gentle way that their data are wrong. And i learn one way to tell the Manager direct instead of telling the person that i find comfortable talking to. Which i did yesterday, it ended up taking me double the time to fix up the report. That is mistake no 1. Next, shouldn't assume that information given by someone is always correct, at times it is good to do a quick check. I passed a total of close to 600 journals entries and in the end realised that some of them are wrong and some of them are right. It takes me about 2 hours going thru them and finding out where is the error. That is mistake no 2. But thank God, there is a lot of reporting that i didn't have access to by the system, thus i'm able to go back home about 5plus 6. But that day of working 9 to 10 hours really takes away alot of my brain cells.

After work, i came back home, wanted to have a nap, and it is about 6pm. thinking i can take a quick nap, miss the prayer but still able to make it for lifegroup. but i think in my head, i shouldn't take a nap but go for prayer. So i did, i reach lifegroup just before 6:30 prayer. i rested for a while then go in to prayer, but after a while, i even felt more tired then ever. and i decided to rest outside. so instead of having a good 30min nap at home, i went earlier, but ended up not really in prayer and didn't take a nap. That is mistake no 3. Never be double-minded, will get me no where.

Lifegroup, before lifegoup started, a leader email us to say that he will be very late for lifegroup as he needs to do some work in the office. that is like.. what??? he is the doing chairing and sharing a few point after watching a dvd that day. And in the lifegroup, there is no one else that had put in that roles ever since the lifegroup formed. The other 2 leaders are not in brisbane. So you can imgaine how interesting the lifegroup will be. Thinking that its okay, he might be late for dinner but he should be there for the actual chairing (communion message and sharing). He can't be that late. So dinner time came, There is a dead fly found in the main dish. Then the person who the chairperson has authorise to chair the lifegroup on his behalf took out a big mug of maybe 1 litres of beer that was left from new year eve. Then that leader called and said that he can't come for lifegroup at all!!!! So it is getting more interesting. No 1, there is no one to do the communion message. No 2, no one else knows about the discussion to share after the dvd. Maybe if the other 2 leaders are around, it won't be that bad, but yesterday lifegroup is just like a 1 man show, either there is something, or there is nothing. During the dvd time, i felt asleep. Sound asleep. So after the dvd, there is just this drop dead, no one know about the things to share, or what is this dvd or lifegroup all about, or what is the take home point. it is just a normal dinner and watching dvd. Someone told me later on the way home, that i snored. It is so funny.

At the end of the day, i realised one thing. that i'm a great sinner, more than anyone in the lifegroup.

2010 New Year Resolution 1 - Go to Beach

This 1st Month of 2010 will be the time where i will make my New Year Resolution.
One of them i had decided that is to go to the beach every 3 month. Below is the photo that i took today from the top of the beach.

I think i really need that to go thru 2010. Someone once told me that when i'm tired, stressed or troubled, there is the time that i will be in a "weak" state. the words/actions that i did during that time, very often if not everytime i regreted it. This year especially, i know it will be a time where i will be alone. Which is good in a certain way, that i will have lesser regrets in my life.

Surviving thru 2010

2010 is coming soon. as it is good to take account of my life and to testify the faithfulness and gracious of God. i thought i will record down the things that now, so that when 2010 ends, i can give glory to God for His faithfulness.

how easy is it to recongise other people weakness and struggles. it is very easy, not much work is need to do so. but how easy is it to recongise the strength or something to build up one another... hard, sometimes even need to think for a long time before something good can be said. which one helps? heard something recently from a preacher, "the more you mention something bad about someone, the more the person will struggle to overcome it, that person actually felt weaker each time you mention about it, but if you are able to mention something good about the person, it will give that person some strength to know that they can overcome it"

God, i'm weak. even my own heart is condenming me. Confusion are throw at me constantly. A step to walk thru the darkness had been declare and carry out. God, when will Your light shine and disperse the darkness? i'm like a blind person walking around the desert where there is no water, and even the water that i drink, are polluted water, that will cause the pain but wouldn't be able to kill me. God, please reveal to me the sin that i can repent and turn to walk back in Your way. But don't left me in that dark desert where i can't see You, even though You are around as there is nothing in this world that can seperate the love You have for me.

Your word is true. as hard as it is, i will choose to believe Your word.

Reflection

Time flies. Was reflecting on what's happening in 2009. It seemed like 2008 was just yesterday. Everything is still so fresh and it had become history.

I remembered one of the few things that i think God spoke to me about early this year.
1st thing, what i think it to be the truth might not be the truth, it might be the fact and not necessary the truth.
2nd thing, unless i overcome it, i'm just running or avoiding it.

and 2010 is coming soon, God how to apply these into my life? working and planning thru it.

Create in me a clean heart

Create In Me A Clean Heart, Oh God, And Renew A Right Spirit Within Me.

Create In Me A Clean Heart, Oh God, And Renew A Right Spirit Within Me.

Cast Me Not Away From Thy Presence, Oh Lord.

And Take Not Thy Holy Spirit From me

Restore Unto Me The Joy Of Thy Salvation

And Renew A Right Spirit Within Me

Create IN Me A Clean Heart - Keith Green

I'm Forever Yours

A song that i heard recently and it speaks so much to me. So thought of sharing it too. =)

I give my all to you
Send me and i will go for you
To the ends of the earth
I'll follow after you
I want the world to know
Your love endures forever

Tell me and i'll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting you and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have your way in me
Not my will, yours be done

Here i stand within your presence
Longing for your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in your courts
Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My jesus, my precious saviour
I'm forever yours

I will worship you forever
I will worship you

Learn to keep short account with God

These few days, i had a new game, the facebook. It is like my small playground for me to explore and play around with. And i also got this game in my facebook that was used to call "Brick Game" at least for my time, i called that game "Brick Game".

I realised that my respond to that game isn't as good as in the past. On top of that, i was never good at that game, but just got average scores. This time when playing that game, i learn something interesting for me. I learn the importance of keeping short account.

I learn that in good times, not keeping short account with God doesn't seems to caused any harm but i feel otherwise. Cause when times are challenging or the pressure is on, by not constantly keeping short account might cause me to overwhelm and not able to handle it properly.

So i use that principle when i'm playing that game.

Giving God full control

Thinking of blog this down first before i go on and do my things.

Someone shared something recently to me and these words actually struck me quite a bit. i need to refocus my perspective. To get the right focus and all the rest of the things around it will seems strangely dim. For the past few months, life had been challenging. Maybe because quite a few people were struggling at that time in one area or another, it actually made what i'm going thru as not even worth to be mention at all. But sometimes, when one thing is not mention at all, it doesn't mean that i had totally deal with it already. At times, when i think i had, but later only to realise that i hadn't.

And i realised one area, i didn't fully surrender it to God but still hold tightly to it. It is so tightly that the more i held tightly, the more i will feel the pain or hurt. And ended up, everything is in a mess.

No matter what, God, i still want to choose to give it to you completely 100% and do it Your ways. i know i had fail and stumble a number of times, and my direct leader can testify to that, God, help me to do things Your ways with the limited things that i know. Even when i don't understand or not able to figure it out how it is possible, but nevertheless, i still want to obey You.

To Live is Christ

These few days, this song has always been in my heart. This song speaks so much so much to me. Despites the challenges, struggles, etc, in life that i will still be able to say that for me to live is Christ. I pray that those who read this blog will also be strengthen in God.


To Live Is Christ

Verse 1:
I make a vow my life will always honor Christ
Whether I live or die
I belong to Him He bore my sin
I owe this life to my Saving King

PreChorus:
Hallelujah
I am not my own, You are in control
Hallelujah

Chorus:
for me to live is christ, and to die is gain
No matter what price I pay
I choose to give this life away

Bridge:
Only by the cross I am saved
Only by the cross I am saved

Beautiful Saviour

Jesus, Beautiful Saviour,
God of all Majesty,
Risen king,
Lamb of God,
Holy and righteous,
Blessed redeemer,
Bright morning star

All the heavens shout your praise,
All creation bow to worship You

How wonderful, how beautiful,
Name above every name, exalted high
How wonderful, how beautiful,
Jesus your name, name above every name, Jesus

I will sing forever, Jesus I love you, Jesus I love you

Updates

Over the past few weeks, i find it a joy to actually hear the audio bible and read the bible online while having my meals. It is such a enjoyable times. :) That's my favourite leisure time. I'm someone who doesn't really like to read, it will take me about 6 months to complete a book that i have interested in, and a few years for books that i'm okay with. And i realised that i still have other people's book in my room which i hadn't been reading for quite some time.

And after my meals, i will go online to the seek.com or careerone or jobsearch to look for jobs. I have interesting 2 job interviews so far and 1 more job interview tomorrow. So far the 2 job interviews that i had was very interesting. The first job interview i had was not really a job interview, it is like the company is out there trying to recruit everyone who apply for that job. I didn't really wanted that 1st job interview. Then comes the 2nd job interview, it is very interesting. I feel like i was sitting for an exam during that interview. I was asked to answer a few questions on IT hardware like, what does USB stands for? etc. And after that, i was given a few general questions to answer. I think those general questions are very interesting. It will be a bit too long if i will to share it in this blog. But do ask me, if you want to know what are the questions that they asked.

And i realised that my hair is getting a bit too long and messy, so i decided that i will to go and cut me hair. And now, i had came back home with a new haircut. I find that it makes me look younger. :)

I also chat with my close friend back in singapore. Wow, it is like a season where my peers are either attached and married and have kids. I feel happy for my friend who is attached now. And it seems like now they are like waiting for my turn. *Cold Sweat* Hahahaaa, must wait longer. But i really do miss the times when i'm with my friends back in singapore, the crazy but yet fun and unforgetable times. I think i really do miss my close friends in singapore, cause i even have a dream this morning. Thank God for the msn, that no matter how far i am, i'm still able to keep in contact.

Stewardship

Since the earlier entry about Basketball Experience, something is like "knocking" at my heart. That is in the area of how i have take care my body. Not that i do anything harmful to my body or anything, just that to be honest, over these few years, i hadn't been a good steward of the "temple of God". I had allowed my "reasoning" or excuses for not exercising and really look after my body. And the "reasoning" that i normally used is, "i'm just not an active person or i don't really like sport."

But thru out these few weeks, i really ponder and think about the area of having a healthy lifestyle. It doesn't just restrict to exercise but in every area of my life, even my eatting habits. How i choose to eat certain food and reject the rest, but i must clarify one thing, there are certain type of things that i really don eat, as in i can't stand eatting it. But for the rest which i'm okay with it, and yet choose not to eat those, i must change in that.

So, now, coming back to exercise, i have come up with a few plans on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I choose the word "maintaining" cause i think that it is easy to start off and doing it, but it might be challenging to finish it well. That it is not based on a temporary "feeling" or "high" but it is base on "finish the race well". It is not a rule or a law that i had set up, but just plans that i have decided to do from today onwards.

I learn these from a book "Stewardship" which someone had given it to me in 2005 and until now is 2007, then only i have starting to build my conviction in a few aspect of stewardship as mention in that book. I'm very grateful to that person, who had given me that book.

You will never walk alone

Along life's road, there will be sunshine and rain
Roses and thorns, laughter and pain
And 'cross the miles, you will face mountains so steep
Deserts so long and valleys so deep

Sometimes the journey's gentle
Sometimes the cold winds blow
But I want you to remember, I want you to know

You will never walk alone as long as you have faith
Jesus will be right beside you all the way
And you may feel you're far from home, but home is where He is
And He'll be there down every road, you will never walk alone
Never, no, never

The path will wind, you will find wonders and fears
Labors of love and a few falling tears
Across the years there will be some twists and turns
Mistakes to make and lessons to learn

Sometimes the journey's gentle
Sometimes the cold winds blow
But I want you to remember wherever you may go

You will never walk alone as long as you have faith
Jesus will be right beside you all the way
And you may feel you're far from home, but home is where He is
And He'll be there down every road, you will never walk alone

Jesus knows your joy, Jesus knows your need
He will go the distance with you faithfully

You will never walk alone
He will be right beside you all the way
And you may feel you're far from home
He'll be there down every road

You will never walk alone as long as you have faith
Jesus will be right beside you all the way
And you may feel you're far from home, but home is where He is
And He'll be there down every road, you will never walk alone
Never, no, never, you'll never, oh you'll never
Never walk alone

A resturant with small portion

When Pastor Wenan shared yesterday about going into a resturant and serve with a small portion of food. Then i recall about something that happens about 1 year ago. It is very funny when i think about it.

Last year july, to celebrate shepherd's day cum chia yen's birthday, i organised a dinner with chia yen and all her other 4 sheeps. So i booked a place for dinner for the 6 of us. When we reach that resturant in chinatown, which initially i had lead them to the wrong way and had to walk back to the resturant. So when we finally reached the resturant, we ordered 4 dishes and 6 bowls of rice. And each dishes cost about close to $20. So when the food were served, nearly everyone's eyes open very big. I remember one dish which is like a piece of breast meat that is around the size that you brought from coles that is cut into about 10 slices. And i thank God that all chia yen's sheep are very gracious and even chia yen also very gracious to me. Just imagine with me, everyone is like try to eat a small slices of meat with a big mouth full of rice. Oh my gosh, it is one of the most embarrassment moment in my life. And after the dinner, while walking back home, i heard someone asking, "are you full?" then someone said, "can go home and had some instant noodles." Oh my gosh, that is really very embarrassing. Then i said, "next year, it will be a better one." But i guess there had been a few changes made, and the "next year" never really come.

But i still believe that one day, i can ask that chia yen for a dinner that will be full in stomach.

Basketball Experience

Just now i had the most interesting basketball experience ever. Mmm, just before i begin to share about the basketball experience, i will share a bit of the background first. You see, if you know me, you will know that edna don't like any sport. And for basketball, i had no idea of how to play or how to throw the ball into the hook to goal.

Towards end of last semester, i was told that we will be having a basketball every saturday. Okay, that's interesting. I don't know how to play and i know that i'm not good at any sports. Basketball, hmmm... interesting, can't it just be like coffee or something, just sit down and chat and talk, but nope, basketball. So we had basketball on one saturday and have break after that as it is close to exam period. Well, i was the worse in the group, i think if there is any "red card" i will have gotten at least about 5 "red card". But the girls are very gracious towards a beginner like me.

So today, it is the third time i played basketball in QLD. Well, i didn't score any goals this time also. And the interesting part is there is two in each team. So when we played the game today, it is either my partner has the ball or i will have the ball, no third person to throw the ball to. And this time, i learn to when i got the ball, i will try to bring the ball closer to the goal and pass the ball to my partner, cause i can't score any goals if i will to attempt to throw the ball and it will ended up wasted the oppportunity to score.

The interesting part is yet to come, after a while we take a break as there were guys who came earlier than us, waiting for us to finish so that they can play basketball. So after a while, another girl comes, she is the friend's friend that i know recently thru ccm, she came and wanted to join us for basketball. But after a short chat, she said, "do you all want to come over to our place for a tea, since now is like tea-time?" then we said, "sure. :)" Both of them are very friendly, and we have some interesting chat at their place like to set up a "food business" and each of us play our part in the "food business".

I think i will be seeing them soon again on wednesday when they came over to the babes' house for dinner. Look forward to wednesday as it will be a great time of building friendship and even the possiblity of building friendship that will least forever. :)

Tell the storm how BIG God is

Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell your storm how big God is.

This statement keep coming back to me throughout the whole week.

Everyone will have his or her storm, once in a while, but how many people can really tell their storm how big God is. So many times in the past, i had allowed the storm in my lives to determine on how i will respond to people, to things, to situations etc. But i learnt one thing, that is it doesn't help at all. In fact, it only makes things worse.

For the past few weeks, i do feel that i'm inside a storm and it doesn't seems like the storm will stop anytime soon. I'm not going to talk about the storm, which i do realised that storm in people's life is real and it's a struggle to go thru it. That's not my focus. It is not about the storm. It is about the One who has promise never to leave me nor forsake me. That the old had gone and the new has come. Those who hope in the Lord, will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Exam Testimony

Today i will to have share something that happen in my life recently. As most of us are student, exam time might be one of the most stressful times that we have every year. I normally sleep about 1am and wakes up at 9am everyday. And my brain will be active from 9am onwards. Last semester, my exam timetable was very "bad" i think for me. Cause i had got 3 8am papers. Oh my gosh, when i saw my timetable, then i try to re-adjust my body to try to sleep early and wake up early to prepare myself for the 8am paper. But it just can't work effectively, even with coffee in the morning, my brain is still not active and at night when i wanted to sleep, my brain is very active even when i drink warm milk to try to make myself a bit sleepy, count sheep, i still can't sleep before 12midnight. And the more i force myself, the more tired i became and more i lack of sleep. The whole re-adjust my body to sleep early and wake up early doesn't work.

When i know i need to take exam, i prayed that God, if it is possible can it not be 8am paper. Then when exam timetable came out, it is 8am paper, i was like oh my gosh, not again, 8am paper. And this time, it still didn't work for the sleep early and wake up early training that i gave myself. The night before that 8am paper, i slept about 12 plus cause my brain is too active to fall asleep and i tried counting sheep to go to sleep but it doesn't work, until i decided to pray until i fall asleep. And i set my alarm the next day at 6am, so i pull myself to wake up, i did wake up but i know that my brain is still sleeping, so i decided to make a strong coffee that day, and estimate the time i need to leave the house, and realised that i had some time for breadfast, then when i wanted to change to leave the house, i feel a bit sick and vomitted. And after wash up, i rush to the bus stop and reach the bus stop at 7:30am to take a bus to uni, however, when i realised that the time is 7:40am, then it struck me that i had miss the 7:30am bus somehow, and the next bus is at 7:55am according to the timetable, then i started to do some calculation in my mind, and realised that i will reach the exam hall at about 8:10am if the bus will to reach on time at 7:55am. This time, i know that if i will to talk to uni instead of taking bus i will reach the exam hall at 8:15am, even no way. As for that exam, the main challenge in the exam is lack of time, 10min time preusal is very important for that exam. Cause for uq examination, if you are more than 10min late for the exam, you might not be able to take that exam. So, this time, i pray to God, and a peace is in my heart that i can't really explain, cause the situation that i faced with isn't that good. So i choose to believe in God and commit this whole situation into His hand. So the bus came at 7:52am and when i got up the bus, a 3min ride to uni become 5min as the bus drive very carefully with the interested of all the passengers in that bus. So when i got to the uni bus stop, i walk quickly to the exam hall, and when i reach the exam hall, it was 8am and the examiner just closed the door before i can reach the door. Then i open the door to get into the exam hall, then the examiner ask me what subject i'm taking and ask me to go out with her. For a moment, i thought, i'm just only late for 2min max, still able to sit for the exam right? Then when we are outside, she told me, "Somehow, the UQ examination make a mistake, there isn't enough exam paper for my subject and they are going to print it now." She lead me to another room where i saw another 7 of us who are taking that same subject. Then an examiner explain to us that we will be given the same time as the other student who are taking the exam now. And ask us to wait until the exam paper comes. At that time, when everyone outside the room is very stress and wondering why will this type of thing happen, but i'm the only one that is having a smile on my face. Actually i'm quite happy that this situation happen. So in the end i started my exam at 8:45am instead of 8am and ends my exams at 10:25am instead of 9:40am. I was so happy. Cause i did a similar one before, when it starts at 8am and finished at 9:40am, my brain is totally blank until about 9am then only i start to really answer the question more effectively. As i result the first one, i didn't do well for that paper. So this time, when it starts at 8:45am, i actually have more effective time in doing my exam, even this time i will be harder a bit and more challenging questions as compare to the previous one. It is very rare to what i know that exam starts at 8:45am, maybe an exam may starts at 8am or a few min after 8am, if there is some delay in getting as the examiner explain the uni policy.

I don't know what will be the outcome of that exam, but i have the peace that in times of trouble and challenges, i will know that my God is with me thru it, as my God is one who really loves and cares for His people. A God that will hears the things the His people made to Him. There is no other God that does that.

Judah 2 Getaway

I enjoy this getaway alot. Just coming together to do team building as ONE in some places can be quite challenging at times in organising it and have a common time where everyone is free and in brisbane.

Above all, i learn alot in during this getaway and being refreshed to continue with the "real" world life. This getaway is like a holiday in God. For those who do something for that getaway, thank you for making this getaway a success.

When i reached there the first night, i'm waiting in expectation that God will move in our mist as the presence of God can be so evidently during the first night worship session. And the second day of the getaway, from morning QT until night time games, i learn and encourage so much. It will be a long blog entry if i will to record everything that i learn and encourage during these few days, as i'm quite a detailed person that will thru every single details and make sure that nothing is missing. :)

So here i will just share one area of the funny thing that happens. During the last night, we are all playing my favourite game "Murder" and the loser will have to do a "banana dance on the street". So during that game, 2 "murders" wins and the rest of us were to do the banana dance on the street. It was very cold that time, and we quickly do the banana dance with Matt doing the demo at the same time. But after that banana dance, the 2 winners, Suni and Lem, wanted us to do it again. Then the rest of us gathered together and discuss on how to get back on Suni and Lem. So we decided that the girls are going after Suni and the guys after Lem. So when they said start, then we will all ran towards them and try to get them. So Suni ran when all the girls that are doing the banana dance ran after her, and i was one of them, then we manage to catch her and we gave a some "ticker" to get back on her. Which later when we heard what the guys attempt to do to Lem, i feel that we are too kind to Suni. But during that time, all of us had a great time laughing and having fun.

I had decided to put as much as possible of the things that i had learn into practise in the "real" world. And most of it, i will discuss with shep about how to apply what i had learnt from the getaway back in the "real" world.

Shrek the Third

Last few days, i went movie with a friend of mine to see "Shrek the Third".

Just thought of blog down a few things that i learn from that movie.

1. If people said that you are bad, it may not mean that you are bad.
2. The thing that stop you from becoming who you are, most of the time is yourself.
3. Sometimes you just can't see things from the surface, at times when people might do something that you thought is bad, which they actually do it out of love and to protect you.
4. The strength of unity if we can don't focus too much on ourselves but focus more on the group.
5. Sometimes fear of something might be due to a past experience which might not be a real fear if we have the correct perspective.
6. People who are "young" might be look at things base on the "appearance" which can be dangerous.

Disclaimer: this is just my personal opinion of what i learn from that movie.

Things i learnt best

I'm just reflecting today on how do i learn things, so as to be as effective in studying for the exam as possible.

I'm doing online quiz for a subject that i can have multiple attempts, so i did it as a revision for that subject. Then i decided that i'm going to get full mark if not i will continue doing it until i got full mark. "No full mark, no stop". Interesting, after a few hours of looking thru the textbook and lecture notes a few times, as i didn't get full mark for the first attempt that i did. Some of the quiz i do it for 5 to 6 times. There is a trend, the first quiz will take me about 1 hour, second quiz also about 1 hour, third quiz about 40min, and the more i did, the faster i'm able to solve the quiz. But i must admit that some of the questions are repeated but on average out of 10 questions, maybe i can find 2 questions that i had the answer, the rest of the 8 questions, i will have to do it myself again. Expect for the 6 attempts, maybe i have 5 out of 10 questions with answered. But even so, the rest of the questions that i didn't have the answer, i will find it easier to do. Unless it is some reading that i must read from the textbook to get the answer, if not, i will be able to do it reasonably fast. I also realised as i'm doing the quiz, where is my weakest topic in that subject.

Now i finally understand one simple logic, "You learn best at the things that you keep trying and don't give up." I think if things are very simple and easy, i will not be able to truely learn it. Maybe i'm someone who learn things thru the hard way. Or is it because the number of times that i had try had made me able to understand and know where is the common mistake and to avoid it in the future?

I think my mind is going to sleep soon. It has been a long and fruitful day. Good night everyone.