My keyboard has arrived last few days. It is a simple keyboard with is the best i could have now to learn keyboard. Someone asked me, "Are you learning keyboard or guitar now?" I'm learning both. I don't think i will ever stop learning keyboard or guitar, there is always so many ways to improve myself no matter how many songs i can play. Cause in the beginning of the year when i finally took up the guitar that i had for birthday present (which is the best present i ever had) and really get serious with it and practice it everyday for a few minutes at least until sometimes i can't really feel my fingers, it has became that hard and rough.
During that time, i had made up my mind that any instrument that i pick up or learn i will treat it as a form of expressing how good God is. I remembered the first time when i played during the pre-cg prayer. Oh my gosh, i had no idea what M's fingering means. At that moment, i'm thinking in my head, what does M's little finger means. Then i just continue playing and wait for M to sing the first word so that i will know what is the meaning of M's little finger. After that first experience, i learn something new, "little finger" means "last line". So the first time, i only strum down and try to go with the beat of the song.
The second time was an experience that i feel like "dug a hole and hid myself inside it until the whole song ends". I start learning how to strum. But somehow, the strumming and the changing of chords is not the same as how everyone was singing. It is either i change too fast or change too slow until they must pause a bit to wait for me to see when i will change the chord. That is quite stressful. In my mind i think, i don't think the leader will ever put in to play for prayer, cause i'm so bad at guitar. I remember that night, i went back and had a good talk with God. After that talk, I made up my mind no matter what the outcome is, no matter how good or how bad i played, i will still use guitar as a form of expressing how great and wonderful God is. So in my own quiet time, i still play the guitar and pray. At times, i think to myself, will God actually don't like it cause i'm really bad at guitar, will He find it a noisy?
Then i remember someone shared one thing in church before, that God is like a Father who will sit beside a kid who try to play a keyboard, even though that kid is playing one finger and pressing one key at the time, the Father comes and sit beside that kid and played the fill in chords and made it a beautiful music.
Then i made a simple prayer before God, that let me be like that kid who with what i know play a song to Him and let him comes in and complete the whole song. But at the same time, i hope that one day i can made a song out of my heart and able to play it out for Him, and that send someone to teach me how to play guitar, so that this might be possible. And God answered my prayer to send someone to teach me. Different ones taught me at different stages.
When i was roster down to play to cg or prayer, especially cg, i will feel very inadequate cause i don want to because of my lack of skill in guitar that cause the P&W leader to be stressful of what songs to choose that they feel that God might want to speak to His people through it. So first thing, i continue to maintain my relationship with God even though i admit sometimes i'm quite "naughty" and secondly i practice guitar to the best of ability that i know of. Not sure if it is working well or not, i will evaluate myself maybe end of the year. I think i heard from someone before that as a musician the most important aspect is to have a close relationship with God and the second aspect is to support the P&W leader to lead His people closer to Him.
Now that my keyboard has just arrived, in my heart i wanted to be able to learn the keyboard well at the same time still practice on my guitar cause my guitar is still quite bad. Not because there isn't anyone who can played in the cg in fact there are quite a number of talented musical in the mist who played much better than me in all ways. I had made up my mind and heart a quite sometimes ago when i just started learning guitar that whether or not i will to play in prayer or cg, i will not stop using guitar to worship God in my quiet time with him. Cause i really really wanted to be like that kid who is with the Father when he or she play the limited random key and the Father will come and sit beside that kid.
During that time, i had made up my mind that any instrument that i pick up or learn i will treat it as a form of expressing how good God is. I remembered the first time when i played during the pre-cg prayer. Oh my gosh, i had no idea what M's fingering means. At that moment, i'm thinking in my head, what does M's little finger means. Then i just continue playing and wait for M to sing the first word so that i will know what is the meaning of M's little finger. After that first experience, i learn something new, "little finger" means "last line". So the first time, i only strum down and try to go with the beat of the song.
The second time was an experience that i feel like "dug a hole and hid myself inside it until the whole song ends". I start learning how to strum. But somehow, the strumming and the changing of chords is not the same as how everyone was singing. It is either i change too fast or change too slow until they must pause a bit to wait for me to see when i will change the chord. That is quite stressful. In my mind i think, i don't think the leader will ever put in to play for prayer, cause i'm so bad at guitar. I remember that night, i went back and had a good talk with God. After that talk, I made up my mind no matter what the outcome is, no matter how good or how bad i played, i will still use guitar as a form of expressing how great and wonderful God is. So in my own quiet time, i still play the guitar and pray. At times, i think to myself, will God actually don't like it cause i'm really bad at guitar, will He find it a noisy?
Then i remember someone shared one thing in church before, that God is like a Father who will sit beside a kid who try to play a keyboard, even though that kid is playing one finger and pressing one key at the time, the Father comes and sit beside that kid and played the fill in chords and made it a beautiful music.
Then i made a simple prayer before God, that let me be like that kid who with what i know play a song to Him and let him comes in and complete the whole song. But at the same time, i hope that one day i can made a song out of my heart and able to play it out for Him, and that send someone to teach me how to play guitar, so that this might be possible. And God answered my prayer to send someone to teach me. Different ones taught me at different stages.
When i was roster down to play to cg or prayer, especially cg, i will feel very inadequate cause i don want to because of my lack of skill in guitar that cause the P&W leader to be stressful of what songs to choose that they feel that God might want to speak to His people through it. So first thing, i continue to maintain my relationship with God even though i admit sometimes i'm quite "naughty" and secondly i practice guitar to the best of ability that i know of. Not sure if it is working well or not, i will evaluate myself maybe end of the year. I think i heard from someone before that as a musician the most important aspect is to have a close relationship with God and the second aspect is to support the P&W leader to lead His people closer to Him.
Now that my keyboard has just arrived, in my heart i wanted to be able to learn the keyboard well at the same time still practice on my guitar cause my guitar is still quite bad. Not because there isn't anyone who can played in the cg in fact there are quite a number of talented musical in the mist who played much better than me in all ways. I had made up my mind and heart a quite sometimes ago when i just started learning guitar that whether or not i will to play in prayer or cg, i will not stop using guitar to worship God in my quiet time with him. Cause i really really wanted to be like that kid who is with the Father when he or she play the limited random key and the Father will come and sit beside that kid.
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